Toes

So, anyway, there I was, buzzing around the house, cleaning and moving crap and making nice.  Making progress, too.  Then the old knee gave out and I staggered and self-corrected and over-corrected and jammed my foot into the corner of the wall.  Little toe went south and stuck there for a moment and, gosh, no pain and I am thinking, well, that was weird.  Then, the nerves woke up and I was feeling icky and sore and stupid for the rest of the day.

Next day, no pain.  Go figure.

Day after that it hurt like hell.  A couple of days of that and you know exactly where I went for my diagnosis.  You got it, the Internet.  Granted, my first go-to source for all things medical is the Mayonnaise Clinic.  Two toes felt broken and they told me to tape them together and to the next toe and that would keep them straight for optimal healing.  Like hell.  That is what it felt like, pure hell.  Aw, heck.

Alrighty, then, no taping.  The next step is to try not to flex the afflicted toes and/or foot and that is what I tried to do.  But, seriously, unless you can stay home, sit, keep your foot elevated and allow the half-dressed dancing boys cater to your every whim, what is the point?  I mean, you can do it for a few days, but as a lifestyle choice it simply does not work.

So, I have spent the past two and a half weeks, or nearly so, hobbling around in pain that marginally increased every single damn day.  Hard to believe now, but the Internet is just a big, fat fail sometimes (did I write that out loud?) and I was forced to resort to making an appointment with my doctor.

Good thing.  I have a nicely healing toe, one that has a nice clean, but seriously displaced break and some damage to other bones in my foot that are not serious.  Anyway, none of it is terminal and it should be nicely or practically healed by the time I need to take the night train to the hole in the ground.  Kind of cool x-rays and whilst I was there, we did all kinds of blood work and it was fine and it finished with this hard, flat shoe thing that is not a shoe, but is like a blue and white Birkenstock on steroids, which is also sort of weird because Birks are already steroid-ish.  I know, I have a pair although I am not exactly sure where they are.  There is a padding and bandage wrapping thing that goes along with it, and I plan to simplify that tomorrow, or at least by the weekend.  It will be pretty or cute or weird or pretty weird and I will show it to you.

If I can find my camera.

Oh, if you are a fan of horror films of the optimal gore kind, borrow Daybreakers from the library.  It is cool and juicy and it has Ethan Hawke (O.K.), Sam Neill (yummier) and Willem Dafore (totally worth eating with a spoon).  Pretty decent storyline, too.

Juicy gore not your style?  Well, the film version of Cormac McCarthy's The Road is just as wonderful, just as perfectly perfect and life affirming as was the book, which I have read and re-read and will continue to do so on a yearly basis because if this book does not help you to maintain your faith in humanity, nothing will.