Sometimes a lie is necessary to tell the truth

I am going to stop complaining about my life.

That is, of course, the lie.  If I tried to do that, the stop complaining part, I would probably self-combust.  We all would.  Anyone who claims otherwise, is perpetuating their own lie.

But, that said, I really am going to try to cut down on the loathing of my life thing.  There are aspects of it that defy success, but that does not mean that I have to toss it all off.  Nor, does it mean that I am going to manifest my inner Pollyanna, although I am quite fond of her.

It is just that a friend's life and a film I just saw and a book I am reading are helping me to have a better,  a more accurate perspective on stuff.  Man, I have gone through this before and I suspect that I will backslide and have to consume this particular humble pie again.  So be it.

I just want my feelings to be about the good truths in my life and not so much about the lies that make it possible to move through the day. 

I have a shitty relationship and I am powerless to do anything about it except survive.
I have absolutely no effect, much less any control, about anyone else, no matter how my heart yearns for something better here.
As much as I hate, and resist, doing so, I have to begin to separate myself from a particular person in my family, because it is in the best interest of both of us to do this painful and difficult thing, and I am not talking about the someone who is not me.
I must gain control of my finances.
I must get sufficient sleep at night so that I can resist that darn mid-day need for a nap.  I have to get rid of more stuff and I cannot do that if I have to stop and sleep in the middle of some project..
I accept that what is true for me is dynamic and need to get over my desire to have constancy where none can exist.