I hope this does not turn into a dream log, but there was another one, dream, last night that is related to the emotional environment here.
So, when my psyche last left off, there was the veil-ish thing that, if I stayed on my side of it I was fine. Push or poke through, and the cage-rattled creature would make me not fine.
Last night I was related (familial) to the person who was my boss before our company closed us down a year and a half ago. She, ah, let us call her Amy, was, and probably still is, a sincere, serious and practicing Christian. In our real life relationship, she never quite understood how I could be so spiritually misguided, not being anywhere near her in the beliefs thing, not even close.
So, back now in the dream she was some kind of relative to me and it made for some problems at the place where we worked. One of the other employees there, let us call her Beth, was particularly incensed with me nearly all the time, even though I was doing my job well. Whenever I finished a project she would come yelling from someplace off-stage with a constant flow of berate-ment about how I had messed everything up and on and on. Then she would sort of disappear...poof...from the scene and I would do another project and Beth would return and that repeated several times. Then we all flipped to Amy's house where I was taking care of her children. Amy kept telling me that I was doing a fine job with them, but there was something she had to share with me about her philosophy of raising children. Not that there was anything wrong with what I was doing, but that there were differences in our approaches to child raising. I sat down next to where she was folding laundry and listened to her, thinking that this was great and that I was sure to learn some really important stuff. As Beth talked, she kept lifting a sheet from the laundry basket and with her arms held wide to either side of her, she kept talking.
The thing is that the sheets were nearly transparent and she never actually folded them, but just kept lifting them as a panel between us and then letting them drop back into the laundry basket and lifting another sheet. The dream ended with me thinking that this was so much like the other dream, although the sheets were lacked the luminescence of the previous dream's veil (or whatever the hell it was) and that even though I did not bring the veil or the sheets, that I might be the catalyst for them being there between me and the creature and now Beth. Then I woke up. I tried to reenter the dream, but I could not and I finally got up because my throat hurt and my head hurt and I needed to pee. Oh, and it was nearly 7 a.m. and Lili wanted me to get the heck out so that she could have my pillow.
Two dreams with me and barriers and people who do not particularly like me. The creature, well he does not like me because I fail him, his words. And Beth does not like me because I am this little pagan pain in the ass. For a while her prayer group was praying for me and my movement towards enlightenment and salvation in a more traditional way than just trying to life a decent life. Maybe she does like me, I am just not certain, but I think she might have, because she often shared personal things with me that she did not with other people who worked with us.
I used to keep a dream log. Faithfully. It is a very informative thing to do if you are interested in understanding and having a front-row seat on how your life is going.
Well, time to take another big dose of medicine and get into bed and read some more Ackerman and time to shuffle off this (aching and hacking) mortal coil, to sleep, perchance to dream...oooh, perchance Hamlet will have luminescent undies. Now, that is what I call sweet dreams.
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