Monday, November 29, 2010

I was nice. I was scared, but I was nice.

I just cannot go through the whole thing, but something happened at the vet clinic today and I had to come home and try to manage a change with, well, with someone who is not me.  Within the handicap of not having a voice here, I had to try to convince someone that what he was doing with the cats and their diet was killing them, although using the word killing could not be used.

So, I came home and spent the entire day trying to figure out how to do this.  This is all about trying and I hate using that word today because trying to do the best for everyone is just not working for me today, and not for a long time.

When I finally settled on a plan of something and went to have the discussion, I was so gentle and nice about it.  I took all of the responsibility and simply asked for help.  I was so sure that it would be fine.  Seriously, a day in which you are scolded for something that you did not do and then are scolded again whilst begging for a new approach to this problem, well, it totally sucks.  Between this same old crap and the last four months of our daughter angry with me because she does not have a relationship with that person who is not me and who will not even consider any of it, man, something has to give here.  The stress is so great and I think that the thing that finally gives is going to be me.

I just cannot understand how all of this stuff is always my responsibility and subsequent fault.  I could not do Thanksgiving and I know that I cannot do Christmas and Yule.  I want out.

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