Better

I am.  

Most nights are filled with coughing, and the damn hack-hack-hack kept me up, totally up, two nights ago.  That has not happened to me, the not sleeping at all thing, for years.  I used to have insomnia and it was icky.  There would be times when I could not sleep for two or three nights, a few times four nights would pass without any slumber.  If you have never experienced that, well, it is a terrible thing.  You feel down-to-the-bone icky. You cannot nap and you do not feel much like doing anything, and you probably should not, especially operate tricky equipment and most certainly should not drive a vehicle.  Hell, by the fourth night without sleep it is probably too dangerous for you to be even a passenger in a vehicle.  Really.

But now, at my age, a single night not sleeping is terrible.  It is not the end of the world as I know it or anything, but when dawn broke and I had to consider getting ready for work, I began to feel drowsy and all I could think about was where the heck is the caffeine? 

I did, however, survive a very busy day that did not have room for lunch or any kind of break and I am thinking that a couple of eggs for breakfast and a double handful of raw vegetables and a couple of strawberries and a banana must have resulted in a bit of weight loss, at the very least.

Anyway, I would love to stop coughing.  I would like to have my voice back.  I actually do, once in a while.  Mostly it is all hoarse and hacky, sort of like manifesting my inner Lauren Bacall or maybe I just always wanted to be Humphrey Bogart's girlfriend and this is the closest I will get to that.  But, seriously, I sound like a boy's choir member entering puberty.  One minute the scratchy croaking, then a few squeaks, more Bacall and a few, scant moments of what might be close to my original voice.  

I hardly notice it anymore, but it must be a trial for my clients, trying to concentrate on our work when I sound like a cartoon gone horror film.  And, it is surely a trial for my housemate to try to sleep or even watch television with me and my crappy lungs caterwauling in the background all the damn time.  I mean, seriously, how is it possible for me to hardly notice that I am hacking all over the place?  

Anyway, I really am better.  I have only a week more of antibiotics and with luck this will all be over soon.  Five weeks of this is enough.  I am going to take my slightly more vigorous self out for groceries and cat food later.  I would love to treat myself to lunch at the diner, but think that I will settle for getting provisions and napping as much as possible.  Yeah, I like that plan much better.  I will stay home, make popcorn, play with the kitties, read, enjoy the rush that comes with the first Mah Jong game of the day, all in between naps, of course.  Mmmm, I am a good planner.